Boredom - the Desire for Desires
~Leo Tolstoy
Simon writes...
Why is boredom so...boring?
What is boredom? Why is it so unpleasant?
There is no doubt that boredom can be acutely painful. We go out of our way to avoid it. We really hate it. But why? I find that, when I look boredom in the face, it’s hard to identify what makes it so unpleasant, and yet I feel it and seek to avoid it just like everyone else.
Here are a couple of my nightmare boredom scenarios:
Stuck in the theatre watching a really boring play (something by Tom Stoppard for example.) Sneaking little glances at my watch with a feeling of horror that there’s still at least an hour to go before I can escape. Time slows down. I feel a sense of panic.
Given a tedious, repetitive job to do, ten minutes in I’m hoping for a freak earthquake or the outbreak of a small war, anything that can relieve me of this irksome, unrewarding task.
Or what about simply ‘having nothing to do?‘ In our peculiar new world this is seen as one the main threats to maintaining the lockdown and the newspapers are full of suggestions on how to escape boredom by doing ‘stuff. ‘ People live in dread of having nothing to distract them, especially at a time when impermanence is so conspicuous.
Is it that boredom equates to a lack of distraction and is it only these constant ‘side shows’ that shelter people from the essentially unsatisfactory nature of worldly existence?
When we meditate we are trying not to get entangled with our beloved distractions. They are all still there, tapping at the window, demanding attention. But we must let them gently move along without grasping at them or pushing them away. My own faltering meditation practice is certainly hampered by a fear that, if I let go of my distractions, long-suppressed fears may bubble to the surface.
Our brains actually seem to reward us for seeking and finding distraction (dopamine up to its old tricks again). This is why many – though by no means all – cases of addiction seem to be largely due to boredom, which may equate to being overly aware of one’s essential state of dissatisfaction. Maybe we actually become addicted to distraction.
The fundamental flaw with all these “boredom-avoidance” strategies is patently obvious. They all assume that happiness and freedom from suffering are outside of us. There appears to be a widespread belief that external factors will free us, despite evidence to the contrary.
Perhaps, through meditation and contemplation, we can examine and dissect our boredom and perceive just how insubstantial and fruitless it is. We may then find that it becomes a source of fascination, amusement, learning and finally of growth and discovery of the beautiful silent nature of the undistracted mind.
